New Full House: Mission to Mars

A long time ago in 2013 a young Pavel Nitchovski had a (literal) dream about starting a reboot of the show “Full House” which he watched frequently as a child. A couple of nights after that, with a couple of beers in him, he cranked out the first draft of the made-for-tv-movie “New Full House: Mission to Mars”. The original script was posted on his old blog, but has been recently found, recovered, and reposted here for the sake of posterity. To this day it remains the piece of writing of which he’s most proud of. Who knows? Maybe in these dark and uncertain times he’ll drop acts two and three…


NEW FULL HOUSE: MISSION TO MARS

A young blonde woman is waiting in line for her turn at the graduate adviser’s office in the Harvard department of astronomy. Her head is bent down, her attention completely dominated by her textbook. In the distance we hear a distant “Heads up!” as a Frisbee slams against the side of her head. She recoils in pain, looks up annoyed, and says: 

Stephanie: How rude! 

ROLL TITLE CREDITS

START DUBSTEP REMIX OF THE FULL HOUSE THEME SONG AS A MONTAGE OF STEPHANIE WANDERING AROUND CAMPUS PLAYS ON THE SCREEN. THE MONTAGE ENDS AS STEPHANIE WALKS INTO HER DORM ROOM

Scene 1: Stephanie slams the door to her dorm room. Her roommate Jamie stops working and looks up from her desk. Stephanie throws here backpack on the floor and plops face down on the bed.

Stephanie: What a day!

Jamie: What’s the matter? Did the brilliant Stephanie Tanner run out of space breakthroughs? Were all the mysteries of the universe solved today?

Stephanie: No, Jamie, the mysteries of the universe were NOT solved today. I have a problem with the experiment I’m running and my adviser just dropped a bomb on me…

Jamie: Okay, alright, tell me what happened.

Stephanie: You know how I’ve been trying to triangulate the source of carbon on the surface of Mars?

Jamie: [sarcastically] No, Stephanie, I’m not aware of the single greatest achievement of this or any other century. [pan to newspaper clipping of Stephanie receiving the Nobel Prize. Headline reads “World’s Youngest Scientist Finds Carbon on Mars”]

Stephanie: [ignoring her] Well, it turns out that the equipment that was shot up to Mars for the experiment has broken down. And the funding to the Harvard Astronomy program has been slashed once again so we can’t send anyone to fix it.

Jamie: Oh no…can’t you talk to NASA?

Stephanie: Jamie, you KNOW I can’t talk to NASA. Ever since they went private they’ve been less and less interested in science and more and more interested in trashy entertainment.

Jamie: Yeah, but it’s not like you’re just talking to anyone at NASA. After all, the current owner and president is…


Scene 2: CUT TO THE MOUTH OF A SCREAMING MAN IN A CENTRIFUGE

Uncle Jesse: HAAAAAAAAAAAVEEEEE MEEEEEEEEERRRRCCCCCCYYYYYYY!

CAMERA PANS OUT TO A WIDE SHOT OF THE CENTRIFUGE AS IT COMES TO A SLOW STOP. CUT TO CONTROL BOOTH.

Joey: Aaaaand, that’s a wrap!


HE GOES OUT TO THE CENTRIFUGE TO UNSTRAP JESSE

Jesse: Whoa, mama! That is the last time I ever let you convince me of anything, knucklehead! 

Joey: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ve heard that one before. You said that before we became radio DJs, you said that before we met the Beach Boys, and you said that before we decided to use our jingle royalty money to buy NASA. Where would we be now if we hadn’t done that? Still living in Danny’s house?

Jesse: [Recovering from the Centrifuge] Never mention that name to me again!

Joey: I’m sorry, Jesse. I didn’t mean to bring up old wounds. [pause] I’m sorry. But it’s been 8 years and he IS your brother in law…

Jesse: WAS my brother in law! WAS! He stopped being my brother in law when my sister died! And he stopped being my friend when he killed Rebecca and the kids!

Joey: Jesse, he didn’t kill Rebecca and the kids!

Jesse: Didn’t he? Look in my face and tell me that if he had replaced those smoke detectors in the attic Rebecca wouldn’t be alive today. Look at me and tell me that!

Joey: Jesse…

Jesse: Do you know what it’s like to come home and see your family burning alive? Do you know what it’s like to know that you have to live out the rest of your life alone?

Joey: We all lost something in that fire.

Jesse: Yeah, well I lost the most. And I have to live with that. And what did Danny lose? Nothing. Absolutely nothing! A house that was covered by insurance and some garbage! All of his kids survived. ALL OF THEM! Meanwhile I had to bury both of mine. 

Joey: I’m so sorry, Jesse. I really am. I…I just miss us is all. I miss the house. I miss the kids. Sometimes I just wonder if we couldn’t have that again.

Jesse: Fuck you, Joseph. [Storms out of the room]

Joey: [despondent] Well, you did it again, Joey. You really gotta learn when to CUT IT OUT.

CAMERA PANS OVER JOEY’S SHOULDER AND FOCUSES ON THE TELEVISION BEHIND HIM.


Scene 3A weatherman is battered by a hurricane. 

Weatherman: …WE CAN EXPECT THIS STORM TO GET WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER! I’M BERT SMILING. BACK TO YOU IN NEW YORK, DANNY!

Danny Tanner: Thanks, Bert. Our thoughts and prayers are with the people of Miami. We’ll hear from you tomorrow. For everyone here at CNN, I’m Danny Tanner. Good Night, America.

THE CAMERA TURNS OFF AND THE LIGHTS GO DOWN. DANNY BEGINS TO TAKE OFF HIS MICROPHONE, A WOMAN APPROACHES HIM AND BEGINS TO REMOVE HIS MAKEUP. CUT TO DANNY ENTERING HIS DRESSING ROOM. HE SITS DOWN BY THE MIRROR AND POURS HIMSELF A HEFTY GLASS OF WHISKEY. HE TAKES A SIP, LOOKS AT HIMSELF IN THE MIRROR AND SIGHS.

Danny: Look at you, Tanner. What happened? [takes another sip] You’re living the dream, but you’re so alone…There was once a time when you had everything: a house, a girlfriend…a family. Now what do you have? A fat bank account, a coke habit, and daughters who won’t talk to you.

DANNY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS HANDS AND BEGINS TO TAKE OFF HIS SHIRT. AS HE DOES SO WE SEE THAT HIS WHOLE BODY IS COVERED IN HORRIBLE BURNS. DANNY SIGHS AS HE CHANGES OUT OF HIS CLOTHES IN SILENCE, WHISKEY IN HAND. 

CUT TO SEVERAL HOURS LATER, A DRUNK DANNY IS STUMBLING OUT OF A CAB. HE CAN BARELY MAKE IT UP TO HIS FANCY APARTMENT. AS HE UNLOCKS THE DOOR, HE PULLS OUT HIS PHONE AND DRUNKENLY DIALS SOMEONE.

Danny: Listen. Honey. It’s me, your dad. It’s Danny Tanner. GOOOOOD MOOOORNING, SAN FRANSISCO! HAHA! Hey. Look, I’m sorry DJ. I’m so sorry. I hope you’re happy. I really do because life is hard. And I did my best. Oh God, I’m so sorry! First your mother, then the fire! I could have done something more. [Danny is crying slumped against the wall.] I just couldn’t…I couldn’t get those kids out in time…I…I…I’m so sorry, DJ.

DANNY HANGS UP THE PHONE AND SLUMPS OVER IN A DRUNKEN STUPOR.CUT TO BLACK.


Scene 4: The morning sun rises over the San Francisco hills. Cut to the kitchen of a modern house. A woman in a bathrobe prepares breakfast and sets down bowls of cereal on the table. She calls down for her children and as she turns around we see a groggy, middle aged DJ Tanner. She picks up the phone and listens to her father’s message from the previous night. The kids come down and eat breakfast. Steve, DJ’s husband joins her in the kitchen. They both drink coffee standing up.



DJ: My dad called again.

Steve: Yeah. I saw that there was a message last night. I figured it was him.

DJ: He was drunk again.

Steve: Well, he’s always drunk. And and if we know anything it’s that Danny Tanner will be anal about everything. Even being an alcoholic.

DJ: That’s not funny.

Steve: I’m sorry, it’s just that it would be your father who would end up hitting the sauce! If there ever was a person who was straight laced, it was your dad.

DJ: Yes, well tragedy has a strange affect on people. Did I ever tell you what he did when my mom died?

Steve: No.

DJ: He stayed up for fifteen days just cleaning. Everything had to be clean. We took three showers a day and I swear he scrubbed every inch of that house with that damn toothbrush that he carried around at all times. He thought that if the house were perfect his life would be too.

Steve: How did you get him to stop?

DJ: I didn’t. He just stopped. I guess he realized that no matter how many times he polished the toilet, it wasn’t going to bring my mom back. And one day he was just down at the breakfast table, on a morning like this, dressed and shaved after weeks of neglect. We never brought it up.

Steve: Wow. That’s pretty scary, DJ…

DJ: Yeah. But we were kids. We were just glad to have our dad back. [takes a long sip of coffee]

Steve: Well I’m glad that I can be here for our kids. [he kisses DJ on the forehead] And who knows, he might snap out of this too. Tomorrow he might show up sober and put together at our doorstep.

DJ: Yeah…Maybe. Thanks for being here.

Steve: Of course. I love you.

[They hug. Steve catches his watch, realizes he’s running late and grabs a bagel to go. He ruffles his kids’ hair on the way out of the kitchen. Cut to DJ smiling–a tinge of sadness in her eye.]

[She checks up on the children then walks up the stairs and knocks on the door of what is obviously a teenager’s room.]

DJ: Michelle, hurry up and get ready, you’re gonna be late for school!

Michelle: [from inside] Just a minute, I’ll be down in a second!

[Cut to the inside of Michelle’s room. Michelle is opening a window while a young man is putting on his pants and shirt.]

Aaron: When can I see you again?

Michelle: I don’t know, Aaron, like today at school?

Aaron: No, I mean, when can I see you again?

Michelle: Oh, God. Just leave for now, we’ll figure it out later. This can’t keep happening. We’re gonna get caught eventually and I can’t afford to get kicked out of DJ’s house. I literally have no place to go.

Aaron: Yeah, that’s what you said last time though [he goes in for a kiss but Michelle pushes him away]

Michelle: GO!

[Aaron climbs out of the window, slides down the drain pipe and disappears down the street. Michelle closes the window and looks at her self in the mirror, fixing her hair. On her way down the stairs she walks past DJ’s children who are on their way out the door to catch the school bus that has just pulled up. She sits down at the counter and grabs a bagel.]

DJ: There you are.

Michelle: Don’t worry, I won’t be late. Plus, there’s nothing important happening today.

DJ: Michelle, I want you to take school more seriously. I know it’s your last year but it’s still possible to mess things up this late.

Michelle: God, I’m not gonna mess anything up, DJ! You seriously think I’m that big of a fuck up?

DJ: That’s not what I’m saying–

Michelle: Then don’t say that! 

DJ: I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.

Michelle: Good! I’m glad! [she gets up and grabs her things to storm out]

DJ: And Michelle…

Michelle: What?

DJ: If you sneak Aaron in one more time I will kick you out. Got it?

Michelle: You got it dude!

[Michelle storms out, slamming the front door]


Scene 5: Joey and Stephanie walk through the halls of NASA. Nerdy scientists bumble about with clipboards and glasses while Joey, dressed in his traditional khakis and Hawaiian shirt strolls confidently, admiring his possessions. Stephanie looks uncomfortable.

Joey: And that right there used to be a lunar landing module. But we converted into the confession room for “Fake My Moon Landing”. And that was the podium from which JFK made that speech about going into space. You know the one. Well, now it’s where we keep the peanuts. [He reaches over and eats a handful] You’ve gotta have peanuts on hand if you’re gonna be running a space and entertainment program.

Stephanie: It’s all…very nice, Joey. 

Joey: Here, let’s go into my office.

[Joey opens the door to a lavishly decorated office. Hockey paraphernalia lines every inch of the walls. In the center is a giant pinball machine that doubles as a desk.]

Joey: Isn’t this crazy!? Here, grab a bean bag chair.

[They both sit]

Joey: Gosh, it’s so good to see you kiddo. How long has it been since we’ve seen each other?

Stephanie: Eight years.

Joey: Eight years…yeah…It doesn’t feel like that long. Maybe it’s because I keep seeing your face on the cover of newspapers. “The World’s Youngest Scientist.” Do you remember that time you drove my car into the kitchen? Who would believe that ‘the world’s youngest scientist’ had driven my car through the kitchen?

Stephanie: Haha…yeah, I remember. I thought you would never forgive me for that.

Joey: But I did. That’s what family does. Eight years…

[silence]

Stephanie: Yeah.

Joey: Okay, so I assume you didn’t come here to marvel at my office or listen to an old man remember better days. Is that correct?

Stephanie: It’s good to see you Joey, but I have a problem. 

Joey: Shoot.

Stephanie: As you may know, the Harvard Astronomy department is extremely underfunded. Ever since it was scientifically proven that our Universe is a pebble resting on the shell of a turtle, people have become disenchanted with space exploration and have become more and more interested in turtle studies. Money for spaceships has declined as money for turtle care has increased exponentially.

Joey: Yes. I figured as much. 

Stephanie: Well I for one still care about space. If it’s true that we’ve always been on the back of that damn turtle, then nothing’s really changed. Jupiter is still out there, Mars is still out there–it’s just that now they’re resting on something else.

Joey: Okay, this sounds very sad, but I still don’t understand why you came to me. I can’t undo a discovery, Steph; no matter how many jingles I write.

Stephanie: I don’t need you to write a jingle. I need your space command center.

Joey: What, NASA? 

Stephanie: Yes, NASA! I am so close to finishing the experiment on Mars! If I can fix the equipment that broke down and find the source of Carbon then I’m sure I’ll be able to get a tenured job at Oklahoma State University!

Joey: But, Steph, NASA doesn’t even really do space stuff anymore…sure, we’ve got the equipment and everything. We’ve even got the last functioning rocket capable of landing people on Mars, but…

Stephanie: But what? 

Joey: Well, for one, we don’t have the people.

Stephanie: What are you talking about? We passed like a hundred people on the way to your office, all carrying clipboards and running calculations.

Joey: [dejected] Those are all hired actors. I wanted you to be impressed. There are only two scientists that work here full time and a rocket polisher to make sure that our Mars rockets is fully operational. I wanted you to be impressed.

Stephanie: Wow. Well that IS impressive.

Joey: [still dejected] That’s not a real bean bag chair you’re sitting in either. It’s just a garbage bag that I filled with company beans…

Stephanie: Okay, that explains the weird feeling. But that doesn’t matter. I HAVE people. I have the entire Harvard Space Program. They can come down here on a moment’s notice and run turn the whole place into a fully functioning space command center once again. I just need your go ahead.

Joey: There’s another matter. I’m not sole owner of the company. We’d have to ask Jesse. 

[Jesse enters, wearing a leather jacket and cutting slices from an apple with a pocket knife]

Jesse: Ask me what?

Joey: Oh Jesse, you startled us!


Stephanie: Hi, Uncle Jesse!

Jesse: Hey Kiddo! [they hug] Watch the hair, huh?

Stephanie: Nothing changes, does it? Even after eight years you’re still in love with your hair.

Jesse: Well I can’t comb it as well as I could back in the day and I’ve got a couple of more grays, but I suppose, on the whole, you’re right per se. Nothing changes. It’s good to see you. How’s space science?

Stephanie: That’s actually why I’m here. I need NASA. I need your rocket to Mars to complete my experiment and secure my name in the annals of history.

Joey: Ew, why would you wanna go there?

Jesse and Stephanie: Joey!

Jesse: But didn’t Joey tell you? We don’t do space science at NASA anymore. It’s mostly space-related reality shows and a place to get inspiration for our space themed jingles. Did you here the one about the Space Saver bags? That was written in a NASA toilet!

Stephanie: That’s precisely what Joey was telling me, but like I told him, I can turn this into a fully functioning space station with my people. I just need your go-ahead.

Joey: I told her we’d need to ask you.

Jesse: Okay, I understand what you need. But there’s something we need too: money. If we let all of your scientist friends in here we won’t be able to film any of our hit shows or write any of our jingles. How are we supposed to make a profit then?

Stephanie: I hadn’t thought about that…

Joey: Well, wait a minute, Jesse. Maybe we CAN make money AND help Stephanie out.

Jesse: And how do you propose we do that, huh? 

[Joey comes around to Jesse’s side. He puts his arm around him and looks out into the distance, motioning with his hand]

Joey: A reality show: about Stephanie. The ‘world’s youngest scientist’ going to Mars! We’ll film every step of the way. Her struggles, her fears, her career on the line. And every single penny will come back to our production company. That’s a million dollar idea!

Jesse: Yes, yes! I can see it! Joseph, you brilliant knucklehead!

Stephanie: I would do it. I would do it for science.

Joey: There’s only one catch. 

Jesse and Stephanie: Uh-oh…

Joey: I want the whole family to be involved. Everyone must go to Mars.

Jesse: Joey…

Joey: I mean it. 

Jesse: I won’t share a city with that jackal Danny Tanner, and I certainly will NOT share a rocket and space station on Mars with him!

Stephanie: Uncle Jesse…

Jesse: No, you don’t understand! He murdered my children! MY children! Why the hell would we all have to go?

Joey: [Aside to Jesse] I know, Jesse, I know. But it only makes sense. You and I are the only ones who really can have a handle on the situation. Financially. And you KNOW that this would make for good TV. Think about it: we can either have a show about a scientist doing her thing or we can have a show about a scientist, her drunken father, and his estranged daughters…ON MARS! You know we’ll never have this kind of opportunity and you KNOW nobody else would agree to do this.

Jesse: I don’t know, Joey.

Joey: Think of the money, Jesse. Think of the money. And you’d never have to see Danny. You can be in another space room the whole time. He’ll be forbidden from communicating with you.

Jesse: Promise me. Promise me, Joey, that if I agree to this I’ll never see his smarmy face.

Joey: I promise.

Jesse: [pause] Okay, I’m in.

Joey: Great! Steph, what about you? Are you in?

Stephanie: If this is the only way that I can complete my work, then I’ll do it. For science.

Joey: It’s the only way we’ll make our money back.

Stephanie: Then I don’t have much choice in the matter. 

Joey: Great, I say this is reason to celebrate! Let’s go out for a drink! Finally, we can see some money flowing into this space command station…

[as Joey closes the door behind him he whispers to himself]

…and finally we’ll have our full house together again. 

END OF ACT ONE

Mini-post: Animals in “Children of Men”

a group of sheep in front of an old building

As part of the (now indefinitely canceled) Philosophy at the Movies series I run at my institution I showed the phenomenal 2006 Cuarón movie Children of Men (based on the P.D. James novel “The Children of Men”). It’s a great movie that touches on a lot of different topics, but one thing that struck me on this re-viewing was the overwhelming presence of animals in the film.

We see this not only in the number of animals that people keep around (Jasper’s dog, the cows at the farm, the animals kept in the refugee cities, the zebras in the London palaces, etc.) but also in the number of dead animals that we see (e.g. burned horse carcasses in the fields). I think there are only a few scenes in which there are no animals around. It’s obvious that these were explicitly put in the movie on purpose (after all, one doesn’t just “accidentally” put a zebra in one’s film). But why are they in there? What are the writers and directors trying to tell us?

I have two theories. The first is that we’re being reminded that even in a world without children, we don’t lose the instinct to take care of other living beings. However, this interpretation is complicated by the fact that the presence of these animals is in a world in which people don’t care about other people. One might very reasonably wonder what good it is to remind us that we’ll still be inclined to take care of goats, sheep, and dogs in context in which we put foreigners in concentration camps and murder our comrades in cold blood. In this light, it seems that the presence of animals in the film is just a way to highlight a tragic quirk of human psychology.

This might be correct, but I think there’s a bit more to this reading that that. In particular, I think we can get a better grasp of the film if we qualify the object of care in this circumstance. Namely, it’s not that people will continue to care for any living being in the event of an apocalyptic crisis, but that they will continue to care for what they perceive to be innocent living beings. To the people in the film, the camps, the quarantines, the violence is all justified (rightly or not) by the assumption that the other is someone that must be controlled, arrested, and killed if one is to survive. The refugees must be put in camps because otherwise they would destroy the last remaining bit of a stable social life in England; likewise, comrades must be murdered if, when, and because their plans interfere with the organization’s bigger political plans. In that sense, other living human beings are presented as a threat and tainted by the fact that they have their own interests and their own projects that might interfere with one’s own.

The same can’t be said for animals in this context. And importantly, even outside of this context (like our own), the same can’t be said for children. Both animals and children are not simply living beings, but more importantly, they’re innocent living beings–ones that are either impossible to mark as threatening, or that are not yet marked as such. And in a world without children, it is only animals who have that status. Thus, it’s possible that the presence of animals in the film could be a reminder of our instinct to search for and nurture innocence.

The second theory, which I find more interesting, is that their presence is there to draw a stark contrast between animals and humans as a way to get us to focus on some distinctively human features.

Let me explain. It’s clear that both groups ostensibly inhabit the same physical environment, yet, the tragedy of global human infertility is only a problem for one of those groups. Why the same event don’t affect the animals in the movie in the same way as the humans can obviously be explained in two ways: first, the animals aren’t themselves infertile (or at least we have no reason to think they are), and second, most animals just aren’t the kind of creatures that care or can care about things like this. This might seem like an obvious and stupid thing to point out, but bear with me for a moment. Jasper’s dog, the refugee’s goat, the chicken in the camp, etc. not only don’t care (or are incapable of caring) that humans aren’t having babies, but, presumably, they aren’t capable of caring whether they’re having babies either. One can imagine that tomorrow all dogs (cats, sheep, etc.) could be rendered infertile and nothing would change for them (though, of course, it would be a tragedy for us). There would be no desperation on their part, no depression, no suicides, no doggy alcoholism. They simply don’t seem to be the kinds of creatures that are consciously bothered by the fact that they can’t have children.

Nor does it seem that they’re they the kinds of creatures that can come to think that their lives are pointless in light of something like their collective infertility. This is not to say that animals don’t live very rich internal lives, nor that they can’t be depressed or despondent as a result of certain events. But it does seem correct to say that they don’t reflect on what their life means as a whole in light of a pandemic, and that they don’t deliberate on whether it’s worth it or not to continue living.

The same is not true for us. Even though we are also animals, we are the kinds of creatures who can and do reflect on whether it’s worth continuing. One of the underlying themes in the movie is a constant background sense of nihilism and dread in the prospect of a childless future. This miasma is handled in two ways by the population: medication to keep going (presumably some kind of anti-depressant) and euthanasia to stop (as presented by the ‘Quietus’ drug which not only promises you the freedom to ‘decide when’ to go, but also grants your next of kin 2000 pounds and is actively encouraged to be used by ‘illegals’). The very decision to continue or to stop is something that appears to be a uniquely human phenomenon and a uniquely human problem. This, I believe, is why there are so animals in the film.

So, on that light note, remember to wash your hand, stock up on beer, and stay safe.


[P.S. My remarks on animal cognition are obviously not empirically verified and are not supposed to be authoritative on the matter. If it turns out that animals do face such internal struggles, then this second interpretation can still hold, but only at the expense of being a poor representation of animal psychology. Which, of course, happens all the time.]

Class Consciousness as a Marxist Virtue (the lost NOLA talk)

I was set to give a talk in New Orleans this week on a topic that I’ve been kicking around in the background. Sadly, the COVID-19 worries and the fact that NC issued a state of emergency this morning means that the talk had to be canceled. That’s a bummer for all sorts of reasons, but it’s better that I don’t serve as a vector for disease for people who might be at risk than to do go and possibly harm some folks.

In light of all that, I’ve decided to put up the written version of my talk here so at least somebody can see it. At this stage this is very much a work in progress, but I’m curious to get some feedback on it. Here it is:


I. Intro

What does it take to have ‘class consciousness’ in the Marxist sense? Is it a matter of knowing a certain set of propositions (“Capitalism is rooted in exploitation of the proletariat”; “No war but class war”; etc.)? If so, of which propositions? Those identified by Marx? Lenin? Lucaks? Is it a matter of being conscious of the existence of class? Of its importance? Or rather, is it the case that consciousness is a property of the class? If so, what is the relation between the consciousness of the class and the individual? Is the former a function of the consciousness of the latter, or is it independent of it?

In this brief talk, I will argue that we can think of class consciousness as a kind of Marxist virtue along roughly Aristotelian lines, and that when we do so, the answers to these questions become apparent. In arguing for this claim, I don’t mean to imply that Marx necessarily envisioned class consciousness as such—in fact Marx only talks about class consciousness indirectly and doesn’t explicitly define it (in contrast to, say, the concepts of ‘socially necessarily labor’ or ‘means of production’). For obvious reasons, I also don’t mean to imply that Aristotle would have (or should have) included ‘class consciousness’ as one of the virtues. Rather, my claim will be the much more modest one that when we apply Aristotle’s method of defining the virtues, we can make better sense of the concept of class consciousness and its importance.

II. Aristotle’s Function Argument

Although this is likely to be frustrating I won’t start with a definition of class consciousness for reasons that I hope will become clear soon. Rather, I want to begin with a short little recap of Aristotelian virtues as discussed in the Nicomachean Ethics. The specific details here are less important than the overall structure, so don’t worry, this won’t be too painful.

The Ethics begins, as many of you might remember, with a search for and specification of that summum bonum towards which all crafts and deliberate actions aim. This end, we know, is what we call ‘happiness’; this much, Aristotle thinks, is uncontroversial. However, without knowing what happiness is, or what it takes to be happy, our agreement that happiness is the greatest good is of little use.

To get a better grip on what the content of happiness is Aristotle offers us his famous function argument. The idea here is as follows: when it comes to things that have a function—whether they be arts, crafts, of other activities—the good lies in the fulfilment of that function (or functions). Furthermore, we also know that it is by virtue of fulfilling such functions that we call things excellent of their kind, and they are such because they possess certain virtues that allows them to fulfil their function well. Thus, we can say, for example, that the function of a flute player (qua flute player) is to play the flute; that an excellent flautist is one that performs this function well (i.e. plays the flute well); and that they do so well because they have the virtues that allow them to do this (i.e. good finger placement, breath-control, etc.).

Crucially, Aristotle believes that if human beings in general have a characteristic function associated with a certain kind of activity, then the fulfilment of that function through the doing of that activity well might be the good for human beings.[1] Engaging in such activities would also make people who do so excellent qua human beings, and they will be such because they possess certain human virtues that allow them to fulfil their functions well.

Aristotle claims that human beings do indeed have such a unique function, and that it is related to the exercise of rationality. It is with respect to this function that we are set apart from all other living things. Plants and animals may live by engaging in the activity of nutrition and perception (for animals), but it is we alone who live by structuring and directing our actions based on our reasoning. And if acting in accord with reason is indeed the proper function of human beings, then it follows that living well and being happy will be a matter of exercising our rational faculty, that we will be excellent human beings when we engage in such activity well, and we will do so just in case we possess the virtues that allow us to exercise reason.

What follows in the rest of the Ethics after this functional argument is an exploration of the different virtues of character and virtues of intellect and how to acquire and cultivate them. What’s important for our purposes, however, is the general structure of the functional argument and how the virtues fit therein. Specifically, the structure requires that we first posit a telos or end towards which all human actions aim and which constitutes living well for human beings (happiness); this end is then considered in connection to a uniquely human function, the satisfaction of which amounts to living well and being an excellent human being (acting in accord with reason); and the human virtues are those traits the possession of which allows one to live well (courage, moderation, practical wisdom, etc.).

It should be clear from that has been said that the general schema pointed out in the previous paragraph can be employed to analyze matters apart from the summum bonum. We did this partially when discussing the flautist but we can list other examples as well. We posit an end towards which all doctoring actions aim and which consists in doctoring well (e.g. producing healthy bodies); this end is then connected to a function of the doctor (e.g. preserving health), the satisfaction of which is just amounts to doctoring well and being an excellent doctor; and the doctoring virtues are precisely those traits the possession of which allows one to doctor well (being attentive, informed, compassionate, etc.). Likewise, we can posit an end toward which all foot-racers aim and which consists in racing well (e.g. winning the race); this end is connected to a function of the runner (e.g. coming in first), the satisfaction of which amounts to running well and being an excellent runner; and the runner’s virtues are just those traits that allow an individual to run well (having the required stamina, knowing how to pace oneself, etc.)

In fact, we don’t even have to change all the variables to re-apply the schema. We could still posit, for example, that the end result towards which all actions aim is happiness, then say that the unique function of the doctor as it relates to that end is still that of promoting health, that he’s an excellent doctor when he does this well, and that it’s possession of the doctoring virtues that allow him to do that well. Granted, this kind of application of the schema won’t tell us much about what non-doctors should do to be happy—but on the assumption that the doctor does what he does for the sake of happiness (a safe assumption given that happiness just is that for which all deliberate actions are done), it would tell us what virtues one must cultivate to be happy qua doctor.

III. Marxian Telos

If this is true, then I suggest we can take the general schema relating ends to function to excellence and to virtue, and apply it to Marx’s philosophy. When we do this, class consciousness comes out as one of the virtues. In turn, thinking of it as a virtue allows us to give some content the very concept of class consciousness.

We can begin by noting that Marx, too posits both a telos for humanity—which, while not quite the Aristotelian end of eudaimonia, is not far removed from it either—as well as a characteristic proper human function. The latter is most clearly laid out in Marx’s remarks in the 1844 Manuscripts and specifically in the section on alienated labor where he is rather explicit that the characteristic function of humanity is that of productive labor. Thus, Marx says that “The productive life is the life of the species. It is life-engendering life. The whole character of a species—its species character—is contained in the character of its life activity; and free, conscious activity is man’s species character…The animal is immediately one with its life activity. It does not distinguish itself from it. It is its life activity. Man makes his life activity itself the object of its will.” (pg. 113 italics in original)

Although other living beings interact with nature and modify it, it is human beings alone who do so purposefully and creatively in accord with their will. Not only so, but unlike other animals, the labor that man puts into modifying nature is not only reserved for his own preservation and reproduction, but for the preservation and needs of others.[2] (“Admittedly animals also produce. They build themselves nests, dwellings, like the bees, beavers, ants, etc. But an animal only produces what it immediately needs for itself or its young. It produces one-sidedly, whilst man produces universally. It produces only under the dominion of immediate physical need, whilst man produces even when he is free from physical need and only truly produces in freedom therefrom.” Ibid) It is when engaging in this activity of freely laboring that human beings behave qua human beings; it is their proper characteristic function.

At least part of Marx’s criticisms of capitalism then follow from the effects that the capitalist mode of production has on the worker and their ability to engage in this activity. Specifically, under capitalism, the worker still labors, but his labor becomes alienated—he no longer puts his labor forward freely and creatively, but now works meaninglessly, repetitively, and monotonously for the capitalist so that he can make a profit. Labor no longer serves as the means by which man self-actualizes, but now becomes the means by which he is tormented: “The worker who for twelve hours weaves, spins, drills, turns, builds, shovels, breaks stones, carries loads, etc.—does he consider this twelve hours spinning, drilling, turning, building, shoveling, stone breaking as a manifestation of his life, as life? On the contrary life begins for him when his activity ceases, at table, in the public house, in bed.” (Wage Labor and Capital). In short, capitalism takes the proper characteristic function of human beings and frustrates it, prevents it from being fulfilled.

In light of this criticism (and others) Marx advocates for an economic, political, and social arrangement that allows for people to engage in just this very characteristically human activity. This is, of course, communism, under which people’s creative energies and labor are freed and put to use for the entire species rather than solely for the benefit of the capitalist. Still, one might wonder why a system in which this function is fulfilled would be preferable to the capitalist one. The answer is simple and implied in what has already been said: it is under the condition of fulfilling this function that people are happy. If its torment to live one’s life with this function frustrated—if the alienation of labor turns life into misery—then, presumably, restoring the ability to engage in that activity will allow for the possibility of happiness, and, crucially, engaging in that activity will be at least part of (if not the totality of) what constitutes happiness. Thus, we see that the end that Marx posits for people looks very much like the end that Aristotle posits as well: happiness.

If all this is correct, then we can say that Marx has provided us with two of the pieces of the previously discussed schema. The end towards which human action aims is happiness and the proper function of human beings as it relates to that end is engaging in productive labor freely and creatively. In turn, an excellent person is one who is able to do that activity well, and they will be able to do so if they have certain virtues that let them do this. The question before us now is what these virtues are.

IV. Class Consciousness as a Virtue

Undoubtedly, some of the virtues that will allow someone to engage in productive labor well will be the same as those pointed out by Aristotle given that the two share the common end of happiness. But others are going to be different based on the fact that the unique function of human beings has changed. So, we have to look at what virtues are necessary to do that function well.

I want to suggest that at least one of the things that allows one to do so is the virtue of class consciousness. The reason for this is rather straightforward in the Marxist context and has partially been stated: under capitalism, engaging in productive labor freely and creatively is virtually impossible. Part of getting to the point in which one can engage in productive labor is understanding that one’s happiness is related to productive laboring, and understanding the conditions under which one is and is not able to engage in such laboring. It involves understanding, for example, that the kind of wage labor that most workers are engage in in service of the capitalist is not the same kind of labor as free, creative, and productive labor, and that one is deprived of the ability to do the latter when engaging in the former.

To put the matter a different way, class consciousness allows one to engage in the function of productive labor well and is hence a virtue by providing individuals with the ability to recognize the importance of one’s labor, what frustrates it, and what facilitates it. This, in turn, allows an individual to direct one’s actions so as to properly engage in productive labor when possible and, hence, to be happy.

But what does this have to do with class? After all, in describing class consciousness, I’ve talked only about how it relates to one’s labor, and said nothing about class. This might appear counter-intuitive since one might have reasonably thought that class consciousness has something to do with class. This is true, but the tension can be worked out easily: on the Marxist view, what prevents the vast majority of people from engaging in productive labor is the very existence of classes—the fact that workers can’t engage in productive labor is due to the fact they are oppressed by a class whose interest requires them to do rote, repetitive, ‘unproductive’ labor for profit. Thus, a recognition of the importance of one’s labor and its relation to the individual’s happiness naturally leads to a focus on class and its role.

That being said, we also know that Marx also thinks that after the revolution there won’t be any classes since at least one of its goals is specifically to eliminate them. Thus, it might be better to say that under capitalist conditions having class consciousness is de facto a matter of understanding the role that class has in preventing people from engaging in productive labor. However, following the revolution, when classes no longer exist, the virtue of class consciousness will remain a matter of recognizing the importance of one’s productive labor as it relates to one’s happiness, but the focus on the role of class in frustrating productive labor will drop out.[3]

Let’s return to our main topic, though, and fill out the content of class consciousness a bit more—I won’t be able to give a full account given the time constraints, but I hope at least a few preliminaries will be sufficient to give a general picture. In any case, at least part of the content has already been supplied since we’ve worked out that class consciousness is concerned with matters of productive labor and specifically with what frustrates and facilitates it. If class consciousness is a virtue, then, it is a medial condition concerned with these matters. Its excesses and deficiencies don’t have names, but we can say that a person who is excessive in this respect sees more things as relevant to engaging in productive labor than there really are, and one who is deficient in them sees fewer. Thus, a person who sees nothing about the capitalist mode of production as interfering with productive labor is deficient in matters of class consciousness (they may, in fact, lack it!). And similarly, a person who thinks that everything is relevant to productive labor is excessive in these matters. The medial condition between these is, of course, that of recognizing which things really are relevant to productive labor in the proper way, and that we can call being class conscious or having class consciousness. When it comes to erring the person who sees more things as relevant is closer to the mean that the person who sees fewer.

Crucially, like all the other virtues class consciousness is not just a matter of simply knowing which things matter to productive labor, but the use of that knowledge in practice. Just as the courageous person isn’t such simply by virtue of knowing what things are to be feared and to what degree but their ability to put that knowledge into practice and to endure those things, so the person who has class consciousness is able to employ their knowledge of what matters in productive labor to act appropriately. What this means in practice will depend on the situation, of course, but we might say that a class-conscious person will be one who, for example, supports strikes when they will be affective to making labor be more productive (in the Marxist sense, not in the capitalist’s) and opposes them when they would be destructive (e.g. they wouldn’t support a strike called by an agent provocateur). Similarly, the class conscious person is able to distinguish between those reforms that are merely opportunistic and afford a temporary advantage and those that would truly liberate labor. And so on.

V. Brief Closing Remarks

Finally, I’d like to close out by showing how adopting this view gives us some straightforward answers to the questions with which we began.

Is having class consciousness a matter of knowing certain propositions? As we already discussed, the answer is no. But this doesn’t mean that those propositions are not important since they are necessary in order to act appropriately.

Is class consciousness a property of a class? Yes, but only insofar as it is a property of the individuals who make it up (just as courage can be a property of a combat battalion by virtue of the courage that each of the soldiers in the battalion). Thus, class consciousness is reducible to the consciousness of the individuals, but not to the propositions that the individuals know.


[1] The qualifications here are necessary because it’s both possible that our search is abortive, or that whatever the function of the human being is, it is so much at odds with what we normally take to make people happy that we have to reject it.     

[2] Birds and spiders produce, but they only produce what they need to survive. They can’t make a pen-knife or a jacket. Man, by contrast, can produce anything (including bee hives for bees and webs for spiders!).

[3] We can draw an analogy of this case with a different virtue like courage. We know that courage is the medial condition dealing with fears and that helps one live well insofar as it helps one properly handle situations in which one has to confront fearful things. In the wildly implausible scenario in which the fear of death is removed, but not, say, the fear of spiders, the virtue of courage will remain relevant to dealing with the latter situation, but for the most part its importance will be significantly reduced. Something similar can be said about the virtue of class consciousness.